What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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