He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
