I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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