Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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