Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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