i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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