my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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