how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
