I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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