I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
