I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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