Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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