Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
