Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
