i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
