Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
