proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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