You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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