She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
