Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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