Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
