I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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