you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
