just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
