I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
