end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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