Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
