U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize