Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
