i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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