"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
