I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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