Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
