I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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