those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
