then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Randomize
