Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
