you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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