I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
this hospital has no fireball
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
