I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
