I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Rumble strips road head = magical
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
