If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize