i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
