Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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