What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
