Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
