Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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