I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
