I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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