Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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