Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
