I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
