O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
