Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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