You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
did you just send me my own nude
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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