its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
