I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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