dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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