WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
