How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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