Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
